A bad tango night is almost more than I can bear. I think as a beginner, I was better at it. I had a higher tolerance for tango pain. A bad tango night mostly comes from having expectations. One should never have expectations from the milonga. One should only arrive and be present. You will ALWAYS be disappointed when you have expectations. It's like going into the Kebob Garden (my favorite cheap 24/7 Eats) and dreaming about Bulgur along the way. Then when you arrive, there is no bulgur. Only white rice. It seems they always have white rice. Every f'king day they have it, but a bulgur night is rare. You should NEVER expect it. Only let it grab you by surprise. Ah, then what a delight!
A bad milonga night can happen when you arrive too hungry for the dance. It's like going to the kebob garden and wanting the baby lamb chops. These have to be cooked special - they are not like the standard fare that stands around waiting to be scooped up. You must wait for them to be cooked. And if you are too hungry, you usually stand around for some minutes debating whether or not you can hold out. You scan the pre made food a few times and weigh the options. In the meantime, and this takes only a VERY SHORT TIME, someone orders up the very last baby lamb chops and there are NONE for you. Yet you can see them cooking up and sizzling so tender on the grill. It sucks. It just sucks to be that hungry and that indecisive and have your timing be so off. One should already have some degree of satisfaction and a full milonguero belly when walking into the milonga. It reflects in the aura and attracts more satisfaction. When one enters with longing, one leaves with longing. One perpetuates a state of longing all night. Like the baby lamb - when you see it - you must immediately eye it and mark it as yours. Yes, you may have to wait, but if a clear signal is made (with the eyes), you will have your desired dance. If you hesitate, you lose and another defter and more adept snatches up the sweet tandur (or tanda as the case may be).
There is one thing about the milonga that differs greatly from the kebob house and that is the dessert. In the K G, you can kid yourself and pretend to ignore the tempting sweets, tell yourself you don't want them, don't need them and so on... And then of course in the last moments, you can go up to the counter, select some and place them on your tray. You can make a cup of Turkish tea and go to town with the assorted baklavah, rice pudding, and kazandibi. In the milonga, if you play this game, you lose. You must NEVER EVER ignore the sweetest or save her for la Ultima. For unlike the plentiful Turkish Delights your sweetest partners may not hang around till the end of the night.